Another problem with the cult of achievement is that it places so much emphasis on developing a child’s IQ that an equally crucial aspect is totally eclipsed–what psychologist Daniel Goleman, cofounder of the Collaborative for Social and Emotional Learning at the Yale University Child study Center, calls “EQ” in his groundbreaking book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.

Dr. Goleman puts emotions at the center of the aptitude for living life intelligently. He points out that when people of higher IQ flounder, and those of modest IQ do surprisingly well, the deciding factor is “emotional intelligence.” This includes self-control, zeal and persistence, and the ability to motivate oneself.

This emotional intelligence is also the essence of Will and of character. Those who are at the mercy of impulse–who lack self-control–can act in morally reprehensible ways. The other central feature of the emotionally intelligent character is compassion for others, marked by the ability to read emotions, to empathize, and also to get angry in the right amount at the right time for the right reasons.

What this concept of emotional intelligence means for children and parents is that the enjoyment of their relationship is fundamental to getting children the very best start in life. Simply taking the time to enjoy their children–to play with them and discuss what’s going on in their world–is the best thing parents can do for their children’s minds and emotional development to guarantee future success.

The above passage comes from the book I’m currently reading, Einstein Never Used Flashcards: How Our Children Really Learn–and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less by Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Kathy Hirsh-Pasek Ph.D. and Diane Eyer.

So far it’s a great book, I recommend.

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Mixed Media Piece above by Troy Dugas

Tags:ChildrenEinsteinEQIntelligenceIQparenting